I recently took part in Auld Reekie’s Haunted Undergrounds Vaults Tour in Edinburgh. Read on to find out my honest review of this unique Edinburgh experience gift.
Despite the fact I don’t believe in ghosts, I love a ghost tour.
This is mostly because it’s a fun way to get to know a city from a historical and occasionally creepy perspective - so when I had the opportunity to go on a Haunted Vaults Tour in Edinburgh, I jumped at the chance.
Edinburgh is a magical place – an artistic, busy city with period architecture around every corner, surrounded by incredible natural beauty.
Along with all that magic, it’s also known for having a seedy underbelly – literally.
The underground vaults run underneath the city of Edinburgh, and are said to have been witness to all sorts of terrible, gruesome things. Naturally, they capture the hearts of ‘dark tourists’ and are a huge draw for those of us who are morbidly curious about the seedier side of history.
Auld Reekie Tours’ meeting place was very easy to find, taking the form of a clearly marked post-box in central Edinburgh which was a quick five minute stroll from our Airbnb. On the afternoon of our tour, we headed down there to meet our group at 5pm.
Our tour guide Ashlyn – appropriately dressed in black clothes, big boots and a long black jacket – greeted us warmly and waited for the last participants to arrive. Once everyone had gathered ready for the tour, she launched into an introduction about what we could expect from the next hour.
I immediately felt relaxed in her presence; with her confident demeanour and booming, theatrical voice that cut through the busy Edinburgh crowds, she was everything you need from a tour guide. She led us along The Royal Mile, stopping at a couple of landmarks to let us in on the gruesome history surrounding them.
Amongst our stops, we saw the only spot in the UK where it is legal to spit in public (gross) which takes the form of a very unassuming heart-shaped mosaic in the ground called The Heart of Midlothian (not to be mixed up with the sports team.)
Historically, the heart was outside the now-demolished Old Tollbooth, where public executions (the entertainment of the time) took place.
Locals would spit on the heart as a sign of contempt towards the Old Tollbooth executions. This has now morphed into a much more wholesome (but still disgusting) tradition of spitting on the heart for good luck. I’d rather pat Greyfriars Bobby’s nose personally, but each to their own…
Ashlyn told us about the various crimes you could be executed for at the time, which included but were not limited to: Being ginger, swearing, and being homeless. She also told us about the - shall we say, less than sophisticated - plumbing of the time, which led people to throw their waste out of the windows.
If you were a drunk reveller coming back from the pub late at night, you might hear a noise and look up to get a nasty surprise. This, Ashlyn told us, was the origin of the term “sh*t faced.” (Sorry for swearing, please don’t publicly execute me.)
Disclaimer: I’m not actually sure whether this is the origin of the word – a highly technical Google search seems to return a mixed bag of different usages over time, so who knows whether it really came from people getting old-timey toilet contents thrown at them or not. Either way, it’s an intriguing story!
After we had toured a few more Royal Mile landmarks, we were led down an alley to The Vaults entrance. Ashlyn stood in the doorway and regaled us with a little bit of history before we stepped inside.
Once inside, Ashlyn took us into the aptly named ‘Torture Room’ which contained – you guessed it – exhibits of various torture devices that had been used over the years.
Some choice items included a mask that would have been heated up and attached to the victim’s face (who, remember, could have committed a crime as innocent as having red hair or swearing) and a wheel to which the unlucky victim’s arms and legs would be attached as they were rolled through the town centre. It’s enough to make you want to dye your hair...
Ashlyn then turned on her torch and led us down into The Vaults, giving us a few disclaimers first (basically, watch your head, watch your feet, don’t try to make each other jump.)
A few things hit you as you go down the steps into the underground vaults. The first is the blanket of pitch darkness that falls over you as you descend, and the second is the distinctively earthy smell. Finally, you notice the eerie, echoey quality that your footsteps take on as you walk across the damp ground.
Ashlyn led us down into the first vault – a big, draughty room lit only by a couple of flickering candles. As she held her torch under her face, sleepover-party style, she told us about a student who had lived above the vaults and heard noises in the walls late at night. He and a friend decided to investigate, peeling back the wallpaper to uncover the vaults.
She showed us a room filled with occult paraphernalia which had been rented by a Wiccan group to perform various ceremonies – including a Wiccan marriage. Ashlyn explained that the leader of the Wiccan group was convinced that the vault was haunted and asked to back out of their rental agreement – which, given that the owner did ghost tours of Edinburgh, he was over the moon about.
We were told that the vaults used to be utilised as accommodation by those with no other option – because don’t forget, being publicly homeless was a crime punishable by death. She told us about the only form of light available at the time, burning fish oil, which gave off an eerie orange glow and a pungent smell. There would often be up to thirty people living in the vaults at one time, using the same space to eat, sleep and go to the toilet.
Hearing about these untenable conditions was enough to send a shiver down your spine even without any ghost stories – but just in case we weren’t creeped out enough, there were plenty more forthcoming.
We were shown a circle of occult energy that was in the centre of one of the vaults. Ashlyn explained that she will never, ever stand inside it because she strongly believes it to be cursed, and has seen sceptics turned into believers after stepping into the circle and feeling a strange, cold sensation grip them. She challenged us to step into the circle, but told us she’d be very much waiting on the side-lines lest she be cursed.
Of course, I went in the circle. I personally didn’t feel any different afterwards, but I can definitely see how even the most sceptical person would have a physical reaction to it. When you’re doing something you’ve been told is illicit and dangerous, you quite often experience a rush of adrenaline which can manifest itself physically; a quickening heartrate, your skin tingling, hair standing on end, et cetera.
That said, even if you don’t believe in the paranormal this is a unique, theatrical touch that adds an extra bit of creepiness to the tour. A few of my friends also jumped into the circle, so I’ll be sure to keep you updated if we start experiencing any hauntings…
After telling us a few more spooky stories and gruesome bits of history, Ashlyn led us up the stairs and out of the vaults – back into the sunny Edinburgh afternoon. It was a jarring feeling, stepping out into the sunlight again after being immersed in the creepy world of the vaults – akin to coming out of the cinema after seeing a really gripping film.
After experiencing such an interesting and immersive experience, my group headed back to our Airbnb, chattering excitedly about what we’d just done.
Whether you’re a firm sceptic or a religious Ghost Adventures viewer, I think you’ll love the Edinburgh Underground Vaults Tour. At just £15 a person, you’ll experience a combination of storytelling, history, and ghost stories that boasts an impressive price tag.
